Intergrity: Its More Than Just A Code of Ethics

Well I’ve been putting this email off trying to come up with some profound story to tell or some way that integrity really changed me this month. I have (like I told you) a whole document of stories at home on my computer. I think it would be best for me to say however that I don’t have anything specific to say.

I can think of several instances these past 21 days where I have remembered the challenge I am doing, and changed the decision I would have made. More then once, I have been in line at stores where my total has come to less then what it should be, and I told them the truth. More then once, I have caught myself speeding and slowed down so that I could live an honest life even with something so simple. And yes, more then once, I have stayed clear of pirated movies.

I told you that I have tried studying the topic of integrity each day. I think that this has given the challenge more meaning to me because it has helped make it more of “my own”. As far as my goal is concerned, I think I made too broad of a goal. I need to be more specific. I did find myself however making WAY less commitments instead of following through with them because I knew I didn’t have time for it. This was a good month for me, but I would say that I still have a lot to learn about Integrity and it didn’t effect me profoundly, however, it did make a small difference in my life that I think will have a small, but lasting effect. Thanks for the opportunity!
-Tiff

Interview With Fred Castaneda

This past Saturday I was interviewed by Fred Castaneda for a podcast posted on his website-

http://www.strugglingentrepreneur.com//

83- Experienced Entrepreneur and Business Attorney- Adrian Dayton

March 10th, 2009

In the interview I give a few tips on the following subjects:

- How to choose partners in starting a business
- How to know if you are a true entrepreneur
- How to get the most for your money out of legal services
- How to deal with some of the challenges of being an entrepreneur.

The Virtue Experiment

The Hypothesis: If an individual will focus on one virtue each month for the next twelve months, they will experience greater achievements and a more fulfilling life.

The Sample Group: a professional athlete, a school teacher, a president of a not-for-profit organization, a director of a production studio, a dental student, a law student, 2 young couples, a risk management specialist, and 3 stay-at-home mothers. (15 people total)

The Variables:

• All fifteen individuals will be given a colored wristband (much like the yellow “live strong” wristband) to represent the virtue of the month.
• Each individual will be expected to set a goal for that month dealing with that particular virtue.
• Couples will share the goals with their spouses, siblings with siblings, and the single individuals will write their goals down and email them to me.

How the experiment will be monitored:

• Each individual will be expected to report back at the end of the month, and share any unique experiences they enjoyed. Both positive and negative. With their permission, the stories of the test subjects will be shared on the site http://returntovirtues.com/
• Those who fail to report back will receive a brief call and interview to evaluate the results of the month’s goal.
• The results will be used to supplement my manuscript.

Let me know what you think of the experiment, I can be reached by email atdayon at gmail.com or on twitter. I reply to all comments.

How To Make People Like You

To gain followers online you need people to like you. Here are the top reasons people will like you, your blog, your tweets, and your style.

1. Be Famous- everybody likes famous, so just do something truly exceptional and people will like you. Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and Lance Armstrong are great examples. Just put together a pattern of work in your life making you one of the foremost in your field in the history of the world, and I can pretty much guarantee people will like you. For 99.9% of the world, myself included, this technique will most likely be impossible. Not everyone can be famous, but everyone can be liked.

2. Be Interesting- check out guys like (I am using twitter names here) @mashable, @problogger, @guykawasaki, and @jowyang. These guys post interesting information on their blogs and twitter that is relevant and unique. You don’t have to post about social media like they do, but you do have to post information that is quality. That’s how the internet weeds out what is good and what is crap.

3. Be Nice- this could also include be respectful, be courteous, and be civilized. Language does matter. You drop the F-bomb on twitter or your blog and you will lose followers. I know what your thinking- “people that are offended by that kind of language aren’t the type of people I want to follow me anyway.” That’s fine, keep swearing like a sailor if its your thing- but people notice. Also, disagreement is in fact encouraged, just make sure it is respecful and never make it personal. Disagreeing sometimes starts the best discussions.

4. Be Complimentary- If you like a post, say so. If you like an article, share it. People will remember your kindness. It’s kind of the golden rule of the internet, do good to others and it will return to you. This is probably the easiest thing to do online to make you more liked.

5. Don’t Spend Too Much Time Self Promoting- The first rule of sales: People buy things from people they like. It is far more important to get people to like you, then to check out your site, your products, or your services. Once they like you they will check out your services out of curiosity. If they really like you they will tell others about your service. You want the connection to be personal, not product based.

Is you disagree, reply here, or I can be found @adriandayton on twitter.

Open Letter to My Wife: Why Twitter is Worth My Time

Honey,

I know you have been giving me a hard time for spending so much time on Twitter, so let me just say that I have proof that it is not a waste of time. Here are a few examples:

Today I met a guy on Twitter named @retireat21 – I don’t know anything about him in real life, but what if its true? What if there are all these people out there enjoying the four hour work week, flying first class, and getting paid to shop? Honey, that could be us! Sure I’m older than 21 now, but that should make it even easier. I also met someone named @easymoney – see Honey there is easy money to be made and all I have to do is join twitter and the money starts coming in. Right? Well maybe it isn’t that easy.

You have asked me in the past, who ever made it big just because of Twitter? How about our current President? Heard of him? During the final days leading up to the election 1-3 million twitter messages about him were exchanged pointing out the best articles, most accurate polls, and the latest messages coming directly out of his campaign. The Mccain camp couldn’t touch that type of real time news. Twitter may have turned the tide for Obama.

So in conclusion, I may never make any money on Twitter. People may never use Twitter to hire me as a corporate attorney, or to locate one more aspiring author, but believe me there are some of the most fascinating people on Twitter. I have been on for only one week, and I have learned a ton already. It’s so entertaining as well. There is nothing as exciting as someone re-tweeting your post, or asking a question that really gets people to buzz.

It’s a wonderful market of ideas. The good ones get passed on, and the bad ones are ignored. So give it a chance Honey, you might just find a way to work from home, make millions while drinking low-cal smoothies in bed, or even figure out a place to get free make-up. Imagine the possibilities!

Love,

Adrian

Grow Your Twitter Following in Your Sleep

For those of you who haven’t joined twitter, you seriously need to try it out- it is a blast. For those of you that are already using twitter here is a new pointer I got from twitter pro @mike_wesely

If you want to grow your following in your sleep (I know it sounds like a cheesey marketing pitch), here is what you have to do: find a few twitter stars- those with 10,000 plus followers that are in your target market- then late at night, say 11:00 or 12:00, right before you go to bed- tweet a good night message to each of these people. The message will likely stay on all night due to far less activity during these hours. Your @name will show up on their very popular blogs under their twitter feed for hours.

I tried this last night @posting to just three popular twitterers before I went to bed, and I awoke to over 30 new followers. Not exactly hundreds of followers, but it took me less than five minutes to send those posts. Imagine if I had sent tweets to all the top 20 twitter celebs? Try it out, and let me know how it goes for you.

Anti-pirates Don’t Even Realize

According to the AP they have special training now just for killing pirates. What next? When will this anti-pirate media bias stop? I swear the media never publishes anything good the pirates do. We never hear about the schools they are building, pirate counsels they are holding, or advances in pirate seamanship. We always hear just the bad stuff.

And I can tell you from seeing multiple vaguely historical Pirates of the Caribbean movies that not all pirates are bad. Some pirates are cool, hip, funny, and/or hot. So next time someone starts telling another “pirate joke” or does another pirate impression (so tired). Just look him in the eye and say, not cool man…. not cool.

Half Habits? I don’t buy it.

Here is an interesting article about learning new habits and breaking old habits. The idea discussed in the article of “half-habits” makes sense- but doesn’t seem like it would work in the real world. To learn a new behavior you need to be 100% committed. Tell me what you think. Here is the full article.

Here is the part I disagree with:

“Half Habits

The most common approach to forming a new habit is to attempt to
create it with a single leap from your old way to the new way, without any
transition period. You smoke and you want to quit smoking. You drink coffee and
you want to cut it out of your diet. You don’t exercise and want to join the gym
to exercise on a daily basis. To achieve your goals, you rely on commitment and
willpower.
But as you have experienced time and time again, your willpower
will dwindle a few weeks down the road (if you survive that long) and drag your
commitment down with it, leaving you with your old ways… if not worse!

That’s because to go from one way to a totally new way is unnatural. It comes as a
shock to your mind, body and soul and they will fight fiercely to return to a
way that is familiar to them.
What’s the solution, I hear you ask?
Well, that’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked it
A solution I would recommend would be to go for half habits.

What does that mean?
Rather than trying to commit FULLY to a new habit, you simply take a step in its
direction. For example, instead of immediately joining a gym in order to
become healthy, if your body has almost forgotten what “physical activity”
means, incorporate a mini-exercise routine at home. That way, you don’t feel
guilty that you’re not going to the gym every day, and you’re not taking
something on that will be met with resistance. It’s a small adjustment that you
won’t have difficulty keeping up. An advantage to half habits is that you
accept that you need to go through a transition period from old habit to new
habit. You accept this as something natural and not a failing on your
part.

In my life I am either excercising or NOT excercising. It doesn’t make sense to start half-excercising. It seems like more of an excuse.

I like this part though, it makes a lot of sense.

“Timeless Habits

One of the major obstacles we face in trying to adopt new habits into
our lives is simply that we don’t have the time to do so!
If you want to start exercising, you need to fit exercise sessions into your schedule. But that
involves some planning, and you might already have too many commitments that
stop you from squeezing in exercise into your busy week.

But that doesn’t mean you cannot develop new and positive habits!
Not having the time is no reason to remain stagnant. There are many small adjustments and changes we can do here and there that require no extra time whatsoever!
Do you need any extra time to replace coffee with green tea, or soft drinks with water?
Do you need any extra time to sprinkle your day with a few more smiles?
There are SO many ways we can move forward in life without needing to make any hefty
time commitments, and these changes will help us realize how easy it is to form
new habits and will also lead us to enjoy the many benefits these habits can
bring to our lives!

Practice

Half Habits: For all the habits you intend on adopting, instead of focusing on the
destination (forming the new habit fully), think of the next step you can take
in the direction of these habits and make a slight adjustment to adopting these
habits

Timeless Habits: Come up with ways you can make simple changes to
what you eat, how you behave, etc. that can bring about positive results in your
life, without needing to free up any time on your schedule to form these new
habits”

What do you think? Can we learn new habits without even trying. It sounds like an oversimplification to me.

Dinner is Served

“This month you have been way too critical of my cooking.” My wife told me yesterday.
“Honey, I love your cooking, what are you talking about?” I replied.
“I think its this whole month of integrity, you are taking it too seriously- all of the sudden you are telling me all of the meals you don’t like.”
“Look, I am amazed by your cooking- I just thought we could start diferentiating between which meals are good and which meals are great.” I careful explained.
“That’s the problem, you never told me before you disliked any of my meals- and suddenly I’m hearing about all of them- if you had told me in the first place I would have stopped making them!”

So the month of integrity is almost over, but it hasn’t been without it’s challenges. My wife and I decided on a star system for dinners. 1-10 stars, 10 stars for the GREAT meals, 1 for the meals I cook. (I know what you guys are thinking- I should be grateful for ANY meal, and I am. Natalie just wants to know which are my favorites.) This is the perfect system, if there is a meal I don’t like at all, I don’t have to insult it with a “1″, I can just give it a 4.5- and Natalie will realize it’s on the low end and make it only when I am out of town.

Here is a list of some of my wife’s best dinner’s. If you want the recipe’s I’m sure she would be happy to provide them:

• Crocpot Mac n Cheese
• Chicken enchiladas
• Thai Chicken Curry
• Chicken Rolls
• Taco Soup
• Secret Ingredient Tomato Soup
• Roast Beef with mashed potatoes and gravy

BOOK UPDATE:

This morning I had a phone call meeting with Jennifer Garbowski from Krupp Komunications. She is an amazing publicist that works for the same firm that made the South Beach Diet famous. She gave me some great ideas for potential publishers and for ways of marketing my manuscript. She loves the idea, and thinks it has some serious potential.

We agreed that I have one large challenge ahead of me to getting published- for those of you that do not know me very well…I am NOT famous. I have tried to convince people otherwise, but its the truth. I haven’t climbed Mt. Everest, run multiple marathons, or been on a spaceship. The big challenge will be to show that my book concept is so innovative that it will succeed even without a big name behind it. This is the challenge of all first time writers, and as my wife and I learned from the movie “Little Miss Sunshine” which we watched last night- life is often a beauty concept, and you need to be glamorous or famous to get noticed.

Here is where I could use some help. If anybody would like to learn about the 12 Hidden Virtues, and would like to commit one year to trying out my concept, email me at atdayton@gmail.com Good and bad experiences can be posted on my blog (with your permission of course).

How My Idea Was Hatched

About 6 years ago I was riding 250 cc motorcycles over some hills near St. George, Utah when I met a young kid, that was about 19 years old. He had a string tied around his wrist, and I asked him what the string was for. He told me it was to remind him that it was the month of charity. He was preparing to leave the country to serve a humanitarian mission in South America, and to get himself ready he was focusing on a different virute each month. To make it more effective a few of his friends were doing the same thing. I never talked to that kid again, but that conversation eventually spawned the concept that turned into the manuscript I am working on.

March or April of 2008, I was thinking about how popular those yellow “Live Strong” wristbands are that were made famous by Lance Armstrong. It go me to thinking, what if the wristbands said a different message? What if instead of promoting an athlete or a politician the bands promoted living a better life? There could be different positive messages on each, and much like my friend that was wearing different pieces of colored string to improve each month- individuals could wear these bands to teach them to live better each month.

The bands aren’t expensive, but they could possibly change people’s behavior- help them actually improve themselves by wearing this constant reminder. This tangible representation of their goal was sure to be helpful. Unfortunately, how would people understand how the bands worked and what to do with them. It didn’t seem like anybody would buy wristbands that had nice words scrolled across them. Unless of course they were instructed on how the bands functioned.

Thats when it donned on me to start writting a book. The first few chapters were a little rough, but after that it just started flowing. Over the next 6 or 7 months I wrote over 150 pages, had a publisher request sample chapters of my manuscript, found a New York City publicity firm interested in marketing my product, and found an agent to represent me. I am now waiting to hear back from the publisher, and I will keep everybody apprised to how things go.

At the start of 2009 I began my own personal year of 12 virtues. My adventures and misadventures will be documented through this blog.